A Way To Go Kind of Day

This morning, the boys had their second practice. Coach had them dribbling around the cones, which seemed to go much better this week than last. Ian and Trevor seemed to have the idea as opposed to just wandering aimlessly in the middle of the cones. After that, they did some kicking to a partner, who would stop the ball and kick back to them. This presents quite a challenge. Ian was kicking to Trevor, his partner, but also anyone else close by. I think Trevor walked away at one point for some grapes or a drink. Later, Coach had them line up and take turns kicking into the goal, then he would kick the ball to them, they had to stop it and kick it into the goal. Ian's favorite part was the Red Light, Green Light game, which I'll post the video as soon as I can. WAY TO GO Ian and Trev!

I bought soccer mom chairs, which were perfect for Connor to sit and have a drink and eat his grapes. He did wander onto the field but only once. I got all set up and realized I'd left my camera (aka left hand) in the car. I understand it is NOT necessary to take pictures at every single game, as my husband and my friend both pointed out. But, we all know I ran (in ridiculous triple digit heat) back up to the car and came back to get my photos. Coming back with sweatbomb status and camera in tow, I got some pictures. WAY TO GO me!

Following today's game, the boys continue to play outside in the heat for another hour at our house. After Trevor left, my boys STILL stayed outside until lunch. Thomas got my car battery changed and took a few hours get lunch on his own. He came back to the project of hauling ALL of his music out of the garage, into the office and sorting it out. It took about 4 hours and we tossed three full boxes of recycled papers and managed to whittle his stash from 7 boxes to about 3, including some things filed into the filing cabinet. I know he doesn't enjoy the organizing so much, but he got started and kept at it (mostly because I didn't take break and his guilt factor of stopping before me was high). I suggested a color coded system of filing and seeing his eyes glaze over in exhaustion, we figured that might be best for another day. But, way to go, T!!

And then Jesse called to say he went skydiving with Tew. All I have to say is if (or more likely when) my boys decide to skydive, I DO NOT want to know beforehand. It looks exhilarating and amazing and my skydiver friends and family have my total admiration. WAY TO GO J & T!

Meanwhile, my happy little feet are planted on the chair legs and I am off to see what in the world I am going to sing with Kindergarten tomorrow!

Tempe Beach Park

Oh, the plans we make. Thomas really wanted to get us out as a family this weekend to do something out of town or something different. Getting out of town was everyone else's idea, so we decided to stick around town.

Tempe Beach Park has a kids splash playground, which sounded like a nice reprieve from 110 degree heat. We arrived to discover it was closed for the season (c'mon, Tempe, it's only ONE season here!).



















We wandered for a bit to see the sailboats and found that the paddle boats were a reasonable price for a short trip. Connor was too young to ride, so Ian and Daddy went on their own, with Mommy in the standard photographer role. Connor was appeased by having an ice pop while the boys took their ride.

Ian really enjoyed the ride, helping to navigate the boat in circles and under the bridge. Daddy kept them under the bridge and out of the sun for much of the time. Ian insisted that Mommy try next time and "you have to turn the rudder and then the boat will go the right way." We hope that we can take Uncle Michael and Aunt Terri next weekend for another ride.

Ian also had an ice pop after his hard work on the lake. Following our adventure out, we debated on getting lunch out, but saved our hard-earned money and made dino nuggets and sandwiches at home before an nice afternoon of staying inside, paying bills and taking naps. By the way, this layout was a mess and I give up trying to fix it!

Letting Go of Perfect

This happy little magazine appeared my mailbox this week from Hallmark. I love magazines, so I read through it at breakfast the other morning. It had an article about letting go of perfect.

And I thought hmm. Letting go of perfect? That is really a challenge for many of us, myself included. It made me think about how much I have personally grown in the last few years. I am NOT telling you how great I am, because I am your average person, chipping away at life like we all are. But I know that I have made many strides in my life that are significant and sometimes I have to remember not to live by someone else's version of perfect.

What does that means?

It means that I am probably not going to rid of the shy kid I used to be. I don't always feel comfortable using my voice especially for confrontation. Some people tell me I need to speak up and be more assertive. Probably very true. But, if you met me 13 years ago, you would be surprised at my changes. I was a very meek person back then and I didn't make a decision that made me happy, I did whatever made everyone else around me happy. I am a more confident person and I am less afraid of social situations. I am less afraid to say what I need. Less afraid. It's not perfect.

It means that I am moderately pretty. No, I am not trying to dig Thomas (but I could!), but you become secure in the fact that you are who you are. I am not tall. I am not thin. I have crazy weird hair. I have baby juga. I have an affinity for chips and salsa that could probably just be applied to my hips. There are a million people who are just physically beautiful. Not me, but that's alright. And all the physical properties are me, but they don't alone make up who I am. And they aren't perfect, but who the heck cares?

It means that I am not a perfect parent. I get frustrated. I become impatient and have days where I need to hide and write or just zone out on the tv. My kids are not perfect, but what stories would I have if they were? Who would want to be my friend, if I were perfect and so were my kids? No one.

It means that I don't have a lot of money. Teaching isn't about making money, as we all know. We live in a modest house in an okay neighborhood. It's not the best neighborhood and probably not the best school. There are prettier neighborhoods in town and many of my friends have bigger, prettier homes. But they aren't me. I have a 12 year old car that looks like this side of ghetto. That's what I can afford right now. It's not perfect. Of course I want a pool in my big backyard. I want a newer car that fits all my kids' stuff. I want a bigger house. But the truth is, those things don't make a perfect life. They make it better, of course, but they aren't necessary. I have what I need. But I feel apologetic when people visit because my house is just okay. Have to get over that, because it doesn't really matter if someone likes my house or not.

It means that life takes us on different journeys and I have come to accept mine in some ways. Sometimes I don't and I get stuck in a silly rut of needing something perfect. Sometimes, you are just dealt the hand you dealt. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

In many ways, I hope that I am never perfect. How boring would I be then??

No Name Meme

ACCENT: Well, I guess I have an accent, probably an East Coast of some kind. However, I am a native New Yorker, but most people are surprised by this and ask me where my accent is. I don't have the New Yawk sound, but certain words probably have a ring to it.

I DON’T DRINK: Straight up milk. Ick.

CHORE I HATE: Well, folks, I am sorry to say that I don't mind chores. I probably hate cleaning and washing my children's sheets and pants, since we are in potty-training/I don't want to wear my diaper at night stages. You see where that is going, so I'll stop.

PETS: No pets is my motto. For now anyway.

ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: Oh boy. The age of technology. I LOVE my digital camera. I LOVE my laptop. I am thinking about getting an Ipod to replace my scratched CD's and I am sure I would love that too.

PERFUME: I don't normally wear perfume. But my favorite is Clinique Happy, which I have had the trial size in my makeup drawer for a very, very long time now. I tend to go with my natural scent.

GOLD OR SILVER: I love silver, but my wedding band is gold.

INSOMNIA: I don't have trouble with insomnia. I have trouble staying awake!

JOB TITLE: Wife, mom, music teacher, executive director for the chorale

MOST ADMIRED TRAIT: Hmm, I don't really know.

KIDS: Two boys.

PHOBIA: Spiders and heights. Both make me incredibly ill.

RELIGION: Yikes, this is a sticky question, folks, but I'll answer honestly. I don't participate in organized religion, but I am studying about Buddhism and applying some of those principles into my life. I find religion to be a deeply personal and private thing, but I have much respect for people's beliefs and how they choose to participate is their own business, not mine.

SIBLINGS: None! Unless you count my brother without bones but I haven't seen him since kindergarten.

TIME I WAKE UP: Usually around 6-6:30am when Connor gets antsy. Although he slept until 8am today! Woohoo!

UNUSUAL TALENT/SKILL: Eating corn neatly

VEGETABLE: I love most vegetables, including the icky ones.

WORST HABIT: Always saying "Sorry" for silly things. Also tardiness.

X-RAYS: I don't enjoy dental x-rays. I've never really had other x-rays.

MY FAVORITE MEAL: One that I don't cook!

Some Facts About Me

Three Names You Go By:

1. Linda (the complete name, NOT shortened!)

2. Mommy

3. Pup

Three physical things you like about yourself?

1. I have a nice shade of dark hair (despite the gray)

2. I have cute toes

3. I have nice skin tone.

Three parts of your heritage?

1. Ecuadorian

2. German

3. Something else I don't remember.

Three things you can't stand?

1. Bugs

2. Sitting directly on grass or walking barefoot in grass

3. Whining.

Three things that scare you?

1. Spiders.

2. The world being a different place since growing up. That kids cannot play as safely and freely as they should be.

3. Being confrontational.

Three of your favorite shows?

1. Lost

2. The Colbert Report

3. How I Met Your Mother

Three movies you watch over and over again?

1. Not a movie- but I love Friends reruns

2. Princess Bride

3. Cars-shockingly I can still sit through the millionth time seeing it and still laugh.

Three movies you would like to watch?

1. Okay, my friend and I are going to a movie tomorrow and I am so incredibly lame that I don't even know what is out or coming out. So, I cannot answer this well.

Three of your everyday essentials?

1. Curling my eyelashes

2. My laptop and email

3. A kiss from all three boys.

Three things you are wearing now?

1. The essential black t-shirt.

2. Jeans

3. Bobby pins for my stupid bangs.

Three things you want in a relationship?

1. Love

2. Laughter

3. Compromise

Three physical things about the opposite gender that appeals to you?

1. Eyes

2. Cute backside

3. A good laugh

Three bad habits?

1. Talking too softly aka mumbling. I think I've improved though.

2. Drinking diet soda. I need to stop.

3. Saying sorry all the time. It's annoying but I cannot seem to catch myself.

Three careers you're currently considering pursuing?

1. Grant Writing

2. Music Therapy (just a class or two)

3. Being a proactive mom and a soccer mom

Three of your favorite hobbies?

1. Blogging/Writing

2. Reading

3. New hobby is practicing guitar with T. Although we need to work out the kinks so we can practice happily.

Three places you want to go on vacation?

1. Grand Tetons National Park (knocks another state off the list and it looks beautiful!)

2. Hawaii or Caribbean-WITHOUT kids (I give that a million years, maybe a retirement thing!)

3. When the kids are old enough, I want to take them to Ecuador.

Three kids name you like?

1. Oscar. I know how my family feels, but I like it still.

2. Marisol

3. Ian and Connor

Three things you want to do before you die?

1. Make sure my children have plenty of happy memories as a family

2. Climb to the top of Cotopaxi (a volcano in Ecuador)

3. Take a real vacation somewhere, anywhere.


Three things that stereotypically prove you're a girl?

1. I hate being wind-blown.

2. I wear Lip Smackers lipgloss.

3. I really hate getting dirty at all.

Three people I tag?

1. Terri

2. Stacy

3. Mamichelle

Feast One Hundred and Fifty Eight

Appetizer
Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?

Well, the easiest person is of course my husband, who just knows me better than anyone. I am probably myself more with him than anyone else. And probably in the "not my husband" category, it would have to be Suz. She is a very reciprocal conversationalist, a great listener and there is always a lot of laughter and I always feel comfortable with all my quirks when I talk to these two.

Soup

If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?

I will have to piggyback on Terri's answer here with Ancient Egypt. All of those Discovery shows about Ancient Egypt are just so fascinating. I would also love to see the Incan culture too.

Salad

What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed?

The very first time seeing each of my son's ultrasounds-where they were so tiny but we saw those little heartbeats going and our hearts flip-flopped too.

Main Course
If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?

I am not big into stunts of any kind. Hard to answer this question.

Dessert
What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?

Well, that truly depends on the person. I can only answer for myself. And I'll say that I certainly saw myself having children much younger than I did, as many women tend to compartmentalize life events into ages. However, having the time to complete my education, spend time with my husband as a couple and growing up a lot, I was in a good place for starting a family after 30. I have had time to see how I want to parent (and not parent) and I have never had a single regret about having my children over the age of 30. I will say that I don't think I would consider having more children as I get too much older, at least for me, it was a huge physical demand on my body to be pregnant and to recover well. I have met moms young and older who are wonderful parents, so again it depends on the woman.

Happy Birthday MOM!

Today is my mom's birthday and I just want to say how much I love her. She was given two handmade cards-one from me and one from Ian. Ian included Picasso-style drawings on his card. He also painted her a picture frame-with so many colors that it turned into a nice mix of brown. I also sent her a scrapbook of our summer vacation pictures.

I was really happy that I got some really great pictures of my mom and the boys this summer. But thanks to Stacy, my mom and I actually took some pictures together and this is one of my favorites. Of course, while we were taking the pictures, I was tickling my mom so she would smile and laugh. She is a good sport. I love you Mom.

Ian's First Soccer Practice

Ian began his first soccer practice tonight with Coach Jason and friend Trevor on his team. The excitement started this morning with the boys talking about soccer and practicing at daycare.

The boys had a great time at practice. Coach had them dribble around cones-the trick is getting them to wait...in line...and follow each other...in line. There was a bit of wandering. Then, they got to kick to a friend and practice stopping the ball (squash it like a bug!). After frequent water breaks, they also practiced Red light, Green Light game to practicing stopping and starting. They finished up by taking turns (I use that term lightly) dribbling and kicking into the goal. Between taking pictures, taking turns catching Connor and trying really hard not to repeat the Coach's directions to Ian, it was a lot of fun.

The boys got their uniforms. Ian was distressed at his original number 4 and cried and carried on until Trevor happily traded with him. So, now Trevor is 4 and Ian is number 2 and all is right with the world. Cindy and I offered to be co-Team Moms, basically organizing the end of season party. I also get to help keep the little ones who are off sides in place during the game.

The first game is September 8 and they will choose their team name next week.

I have to get myself one of the folding soccer mom chairs now.

Wonder

Doctors have come from distant cities
Just to see me
Stand over my bed, disbelieving what they're seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders
God's own creation
And as far as they see, they can offer no explanation

Newspapers ask intimate questions, want confessions
Reach into my head to steal the glory of my story

They say I must be one of the wonders
God's own creation
And as far as they see, they can offer no explanation


I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
He'll make his way

People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you
and astound you to know

I must be one of the wonders
God's own creation
And as far as I see, they can offer me
No explanation

I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
He'll make his way
He'll make his way

Natalie Merchant (with gender change by me)

Posting Break

Hi to my fellow peeps.

I am taking a posting break. I need a reprieve and I'll be back again very soon. Please don't drop me from the blog ring though!

L

Time Travel Tuesday

“You’re 21.
What’s going on in your life?
Who are you spending most of your time with?
What’s your favorite things to do? eat? hobby?"

The summer I turned 21 was a big transition for me. I changed colleges, leaving my first after two years and moving on to a state school. My aunt Suzy had invited me to spend the summer with her in Boca Raton, FL. My mom and I drove down in my Ford Escort and I got settled into my aunt's home. She had a really beautiful home with a pool, two dogs and five million birds. (she never had kids, but these birds and dogs were her children) I took a job working at an Eckerd drugstore where my uncle Chet had worked following his retirement (he died a few years earlier).

Boca Raton was a pretty hip place. As a girl from a trailer park, this was a pretty ritzy section of town. All the kids had brand-new cars with A/C, they did homework on the beach and partied at Club Boca on Friday nights with VIP passes. I made a few passing friends for the summer, the type of friendships that fade away quickly. For my 21st birthday, we went to a sports bar and I had a Long Island iced tea as my first official 21 drink. A friend took me to see Buffy the Vampire Slayer that week too. My aunt treated me to dinner at our favorite restaurant.

I spent a lot of time on the beach, relaxing, reading and tanning (bad, I know it!). I also swam in the pool each day and walked the dogs twice a day. I ended up losing about 15 pounds that summer without really trying or changing my diet much. I ate a lot of steak and seafood too.

My aunt was a bit of a card shark and liked to gamble in casinos (often making quite a bit of money). She would fly to Las Vegas while I house sat and animal sat. I'd give her 10 dollars and she would come back with a huge roll of money for me (that I ended up spending on her due to her strong guilt ethic) We played card games almost every night that summer. We played Skip-Bo most of the time, until I got on a winning streak. One day, I came home to Blackjack and she knew she would win easily due to my atrocious counting skills. She was a tough cookie-basically a her way or the highway type. She was never an easy person to get along with but she has a lot of interests and I think she enjoyed the company that summer. Unfortunately, I never saw her again after that summer. She moved to Las Vegas shortly afterward (I left a week before Hurricane Andrew hit, by the way) and wrote a few letters. However, she stopped contacting-she tended to get huffy and give the silent treatment if something didn't go her way and she rarely gave without expecting something in return-a point of contention between family members. I recall one letter was unhappy my not visiting again right away and that seems to lead to not writing to me anymore). My mom continued to send cards that were returned and we sent a wedding invitation too. I discovered recently that she died during the year that I was married.

That summer was really not a bad summer over all. There were low points and really fun times. I feel tremendously sad that my aunt decide to forgo contact to where we did not reconcile, not even enough to know that she had died. That is a sad commentary on my family and I actively tried to change that. But it is not a communicative group and we have to work hard to stay together, myself included.

And maybe that is what I learned from my 21st year.

Marimbrothers

Ian and Connor had some fun playing on Daddy's marimba. I can see Thomas really try hard to teach them the right way to play and take deep breaths when they get carried away (witness Connor with the mallets). But they love it!

Please note we are in the middle of potty training-normally Ian is wearing shorts but we are really trying to make this transition easier. Connor would be happy in his birthday suit 24/7 if allowed. Just an FYI.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Describe your laundry routine. Do you have a certain day when you do it all, or do you just wash whatever you need for the next day?

Well, the routine is a bit random. I like to do wash on Sundays when I am home all day. I prefer washing everything all at once and folding clothes while listening to Colbert.

Soup

In your opinion, what age will you be when you’ll consider yourself to truly be old?

Oh, boy. My honest opinion is that age is a state of mind. And while I might joke about getting old and gray, I don't want to feel old when I am not truly old. Without acting immature, I think you have to keep a young state of mind. If you are going to act old, then you are old. So, I hope I'll never be truly old. I said "old" way too many times.

Salad
What is one of your goals? Is it short-term, long-term, or both?

The goal I have been thinking about most in the last two days is getting out of debt. It is short-term and long-term. Now that we are back to working full time, it looks like we can get moving along toward a better, happier situation financially. We got paid yesterday, opened up new savings accounts, have a budget plan and all. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Main Course

Name something unbelievable you’ve seen or read lately.

I cannot believe how many disastrous things are happening as of late-the miners in Utah, the bridge collapse in Minnesota, the earthquake in Peru, the helicopter crash here and on and on.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how happy are you today?

I am pretty happy, probably a 8 of 10. I felt a little bad after promising Ian a trip to the toy store tonight. He had some garage sale money and he also had an excellent potty training day, so he got to choose a toy. After many mind changes, deliberations and testing, he chose a Lightning McQueen remote control car. This crazy car never stops moving once it's switched on. There is no brake or stop button. Ian was a little frustrated in how to steer it. Finally, he told us that he didn't want the toy, it was too hard to work. Somehow, I managed to open the box carefully enough that I could put it back in the box. So, we'll see if we can exchange it for something else tomorrow.

I was very happy with the quality of Prima Pizza tonight-Delicious!

Family Ties

About your Family Quiz:

Okay, the fonts and spaces were messed up on this entry. I tried to fix it but I am just too spacey to work on it tonight.

1. Who’s the smartest person in your family? Me? Ha, ha, ha. Not a chance, folks! I would probably go with Michael or Chris.
   
2. What is your dad really good at? My dad is a hard worker. He is also really great at drawing and woodworking. I think he is very creative in that respect.
   
3. What can you do better than dad? I can play instruments, I don't know that my dad can play an instrument. But he can sing-that I've heard.
   
4. How are you like mom? We like music, we like to read mysteries, we don't call people on the phone very often. She likes to give cooking advice, I like to take cooking advice.
   
5. How are you different from mom? I like doing inventory at ZB, she doesn't. I tend to talk a lot more than she does. She likes watching TV, doing a crossword puzzle and sleeping all at the same time. It drives me bonkers to have the TV on and no one paying attention to it. We have that little discussion every single time we get together-right, Mom??
   
6. How old is mom? Well, I am tactful enough to not say. Also because I don't really know. I can never remember it.
   
7. How tall is dad? I don't know my dad's height. I know that he is tall by Ecuadorian standards and all of his family are rather tall.
   
8. What one thing mom always says to you? I can only pick one?? No, no. I will pick a few classics that somehow I find myself saying.
   -Sew buttons on ice cream (if you say "so?")

-It's your own stupid fault. That is classic Mom.
-If you don't like what's served, cook it yourself.
- If you moved back East....fill in appropriate "then" response. This is a favorite of my mother in law as well. :) They make a formidable team on this subject, btw.
-no supper, no dessert. (I say no dinner, no treats, a variation)
- son of a gun - I loved when my mom said this. I don't know why.
- Come on! (Ian likes to repeat this one)

1. What did you and dad do together that you’ll always remember? Okay, my dad loves airplanes. I don't think he likes to actually fly in them, but he likes them. We used to get Carvel ice cream cones and drive over to the Dutchess County airport and watch the planes take off and land. One time, we went to Stewart airport. I think I will always remember that. My other favorite time was going to Ecuador with just him and me as a adult. He's pretty funny in his element and I love to hear him speak Spanish.
   
2. How do you know that mom and dad love you? Well, I don't talk to either of my parents very often. We just aren't phone callers and we don't even email often. We also live across the country from everyone. My blog is the update for them really. But, I know that when we visit in person and have to leave, it is very hard to see the tears. And when we do talk, they wonder about us moving back East and hope that we will. And I know that they miss me and love me in their own way. And while they might not like it, they are teaching me an important lesson in learning to let go with love. I know someday I will have to watch my boys disappear into the big world and you have to learn to love from afar, no matter how hard that is and I think it is very, very hard.
   

Sick and Tired

And tired always followed sick ..... Bill Cosby routine. Anyway....

August seems so early for daycare merry-go-round of illnesses. Although, out here in Arizona, it is monsoon season. With that comes humidity, cloudiness, some rain and a lot of dust. So, with all the crud kicking about in the air, it shouldn't be too surprising. I have had a cold for two weeks now. A few of the kids have been coming down with stomach bugs, fevers and strep. For a short moment, I thought my boys had dodged the bullet, until this evening. Connor came home flushed and looking pretty subdued. The major clue to Connor not feeling well-he doesn't want to eat. Then we KNOW his little world is askew. Ian, however, was bouncing around, a little crabby at times. He seemed to have boundless energy and he ate some of his dinner.

Connor was running a temp and laid quietly on the floor or on my shoulder for most of the evening. Ian jumped from couch to couch, made a pillow fort, raced about the hallway and didn't seem under the weather. Until I actually touched his back and felt heat radiating from his skin. I checked his temp at 103.3. Later, he said his tummy felt "wobbly" but gratefully so far, nothing has come of that.

This, of course, means one of us needs to take time off tomorrow. It will probably be Thomas tomorrow, but the sad thing is that we haven't worked a full month to earn a day off yet. So, we'll probably be docked for taking a family sick day. Sure, we probably should have one saved up from last year-but when you have kids, those sick days fly by. I don't have any so far, starting in a new district. Plus, I have to reserve two days to be able to fly to New York on a holiday weekend so I don't get docked then. It is a weird little system.

Anyway, this week has presented a lot of Chorale work for me. Tomorrow is a meeting with the Mesa Arts Center to discuss the affiliates. Thursday is the first rehearsal back for the fall, so I get to go and introduce myself again and help with gathering member information from the members. Then, I am working on a project to find a graphic designer to redesign the logo, plus another project to gather volunteers for arts promotion at an expo, rewriting the mission statement and writing an extended contract with our Paradise Valley venue.

On a note of relief, none of our Diego toys have fallen into the recall and we don't own any of the toys from the Mattel recall. Good grief. We did have a few of the Thomas trains that were recalled and they sent us a new train as an interim waiting gift.

Off to read my Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich-almost done!

Time Travel Tuesdays

This week's entry is about your memory of the first day of school.

Honestly, I don't really recall many of my first days of school. I was such a shy kid that I probably blocked out much of meeting new people.

I do know that this year, I had to call a classroom teacher to have a child removed from my class. He was so exhausted in the first day of all-day kindergarten. He was being a little goofy so I spoke to him gently and quietly to the side. He then proceeded to scream and wail so loudly that we could not sing or talk over him. The teacher came and took him out. In all of my years of teaching, I have never had a child removed from the class on the first day. Yikes! On a better note, he seems to be adjusting much better in the past two classes.

Not a very exciting entry-sorry!

Friday's Feast One Hundred Sixty

Friday's Feast One Hundred Sixty

Appetizer
What is your favorite kind of pie?
I am not a huge pie fan, but I like all the usuals: apple, pecan, peach


Soup
Name something that made you smile this week.

Okay, a long response here. I teach a K-6 Special Education class every three school days. First of all, there are about 15-18 kids in the class, which is a big class. There are several aides who attend and help throughout the class (including a retired former music teacher-he has a great voice too!). Five of the children are in wheelchairs with minimal verbal and motor skills. The rest are mobile, some higher-functioning and with a dose of energy. One aide told me that one of the girls loves music. She is in a wheelchair, looking at the ceiling much of the time, no eye contact or change of expression. It was really hard for me to tell how to know if she was even hearing you or not. Anyway, this aide raved about how much she loves the music we sing. At the end of class, I walked around and let each child strum my guitar once. At her turn, the aide manipulated her arms and fingers so she could make a sound. And I watched her little face and somehow she brightened without changing much at all. It looked like she was trying to smile and it brought me such a happy reward. These children love music. I know they'll never learn the concepts like a regular class, but they have brightened my day each time I see them, including today.

Salad
What do you do to cool off when the weather is hot and humid?

I hate humidity-blah! It is actually very hot and humid here in AZ. It is 107 plus with 30-35% humidity. Ick. We stay in the A/C. We become nocturnal. Run in the sprinkler with the boys. Wash the car and spray each other. Tonight, we did "indoor park" instead of the real park, which is removing all the couch cushions and jumping, rolling, somersaulting, etc to get the energy out.

Main Course
You receive $1,000 in the mail with a letter that says you can only use the money to redecorate one room in your home. Which room do you pick, and what do you buy to spruce it up?

Okay-while every room in my house could use a spruce, I would pick the kitchen. And I would buy a nice, new kitchen table with matching chairs that are clean and not falling apart. I would also refacing the cabinets to look nicer. If any money was left, I would replace the countertop with granite or something really nice. $1000 doesn't go very far anymore!

Dessert
Fill in the blank: My ________ says __________, but I __________.

My floors say "Clean Me" but I say "Surf now, clean later!"

Time Travel Tuesdays

I found Time Travel Tuesdays via Jodi's blog and it looks really interesting. Of course, this week is childbirth-so hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen.

My first pregnancy was really easy, no morning sickness, no real complaints, except I was really tired. Once my due date of May 7 had come and gone, anticipation was turning to frustration. You're huge, you're tired, let's get the show on the road. Dr. Sodoma didn't seem too concerned and wanted me to wait another week to see how things progressed. Finally on a Thursday evening, I was feeling some mild contractions through the night. Thomas and I joked how his birthday was the next day and wouldn't that be funny if our son was born on his birthday and so on. On Friday morning, we called the doctor and while the contractions were still mild, she asked us to stop at the hospital to be checked. The worst case scenario would be being sent home. I remember listening to Evanensce (how DO you spell that?) in the car and thinking it was very profound. It was "My Immortal" and most of the song didn't fit the situation, but the chorus seemed to make me cry. Oh, those hormones.

We arrived around 10am. I was strapped to blood pressure and contraction monitors. The nurse was really nice, but she informed me that I was not really far along at all. After checking the monitors, she said she needed to call the doctor as the baby's heartbeat was dipping a bit on contraction. I never got up from the bed again. Instead, I was strapped and IV'ed to a million different things-Pitocin drip, oxygen, monitors, eventually a fetal scalp monitor. The baby was losing oxygen on contraction, so it was becoming very intense. It was horrendous once the labor pains kicked in only because I could not move or change position. My poor husband tried to take a quick nap, but I kept calling him back over with each contraction. By 4pm, he was hungry and was about to head off to grab dinner. The nurse advised him that the baby would be arriving and he needed to stay put. The doctor was called (she was at the hospital all day and wasn't anticipating me delivering until 10pm or so-surprise!). I had received an epidural and at first, I could feel the contraction without pain. I didn't mind that because it felt like I was a participant. Suddenly, I was completely numb and unable to move my lower half or even feeling like I was pushing. That was disconcerting. And the Lamaze breathing-Thomas tried but it was my way or the highway.

Now, throughout my pregnancy, the doctor estimated an average sized baby, maybe 6 or 7 lbs since both Thomas and I were about 5 lbs at birth. The doctor announced that I had a bruiser and I remember thinking "hmmm, that doesn't seem right."

And the moment I saw my son, I felt shock. As if I were floating and not sure if this was reality. I don't think we said anything except "oh.". He was huge, hanging upside down in front of me and his cry was vigorous. And the scale tipped over 8lbs and this robust little boy was waiting for us to show him the way.

Jesse and Tewlyn were the first visitors and our official hospital photographers. They knew Ian before he was Ian. They mercifully brought us Wendy's (I ate my dinner AND Wendy's after ice chips all day long). They took a picture of the sunset setting on Ian's first few hours. They were our family for all of that time and the three of us were blessed by friends who will always be tethered to us (like it or not). Aunt Suz was the first one to hear the official "his name is Ian". And the down to the second debate on his middle name before I wrote "Michael" and that was it.

With my second pregnancy, I discovered the real meaning of exhaustion. I had a toddler. I was working full time. During the last month of my pregnancy with Connor, he planted himself on a nerve that made it impossible for me to lie down without excruciating pain. Walking was okay, but I will never forget that pain. I spent most nights sleeping upright in the recliner or propped against a million pillows.

I also discovered that my children like to hang out in the womb as long as possible. Connor was also a week late and the doctor invited me to be induced on a Wednesday evening. We agreed because it didn't appear like anything was going to happen in the near future and I was worried Ian might start college before I delivered this one. I also had to have antibiotics administered because I was positive for strep. So, we left Ian with my mom (who came and waited anxiously all week with us as nothing happened) and we headed to the hospital about 9:30pm. No mood-affecting pop song this time. My husband was given a cozy cot near my bed, where I was again attached to IV's and monitors.

At 4am, the Pitocin drip was started and I fell back to sleep. At 6am, I woke up, feeling a contraction here and there. There was some panic because this should be working already. By 6:45-7am, I was in full labor and ready for epidural. They allowed me to sit up a bit, which helped, but I could not believe how strong and fast the contractions were coming. The epidural lady (anethesiologist -sp) talked SLOWLY about the epidural and all the necessary talk they have to give. It felt like an eternity but I couldn't talk at all to tell them LET'S GO ALREADY! She asked if there were questions, and wouldn't you know that my sweet, adorable husband pipes up with a bunch of questions, to which the lady responded ever so slowly. Now, my husband insisted he was caring for my well-being and I believe that. But he should also know that in my mind, he was being cursed out and if I could have zapped him with something....but I love him. He had no idea.

So the blessed epidural came and with that, it was time to push. Connor was vacuumed out at 8:08am, after what felt like a whirlwind of labor. The nurse announced he was 9lbs, 4 oz and I felt my eyes pop out of my head at that moment. A second bruiser, more bruisier than the first!

I love my children. Connor was beautiful and weird-looking at the same time. He was beet red with a shock of black hair that stood up mohawk-style. His little face was crunched from sitting upside down (on my nerve) and he had a Yoda look about him, with ears sticking out. He was cute in a motley way. I couldn't help thinking I had given birth to a Muppet.

Connor became Connor after my husband badgered me (and he knows it) about the name until I was too tired to argue and I had no convincing alternatives except Oscar (which in hindsight, might have worked well with the whole Muppet thing). We gave him the name Connor and I added James as a middle name. We again went through the whole middle name dispute, but I won since he got the first name.

At this point, we don't think we'll have more children. Dr. Sodoma was clear that the next child would be probably 10 lbs at least and because I am a small person in stature, holding that large a child would mean a C-section and probably a lot more discomfort physically. It's worth it in the end, of course, but I am physically tired. I cannot do anymore. We are financially tired too. Many people ask if I am happy with two boys and no girls and the answer is YES. I have been given what I have been given. There are no regrets, no what if's and I don't need to proceed to see what having a girl would be like. Sure, girl clothes are cute. I'll give everyone that much. And that's it.

I also suffered postpartum depression following Connor's birth, which many people don't know about me. While I have managed depression before my children were ever a sparkle in the eye, this one eluded me for many months. Going from one child to two was a difficult transition. Realizing that Connor was not following the same patterns as Ian was honestly maddening. I had to have surgery in September, which was a serious low point. The house was (is) a clutter magnet and I could not keep up. Thomas was working many jobs and many hours to keep us going and I was going it alone much of the time with both boys. (not his fault at all, btw) Finally, when putting up the Christmas tree didn't go exactly to plan, I lost it. I cried, it was irrational but nothing was going according to what I needed. I made an appointment the next day with my regular doctor, who has a faithful patient in me now. I walked in wheeling a double stroller, including crying infant and toddler. It didn't take a doctor to figure out my problem, but he basically talked me through the birth up to the present moment. His deduction was that I had postpartum depression for several months. He talked to me for almost an hour. I was on Lexapro and then Wellbutrin for awhile. I am weaned off now and feeling well again. But depression haunts me quite often and I have to be proactive to recognize its return. I write this not because I really want to share my emotional state with the world. It's only because I healed from reading other people's stories. The medicine helped smooth the edges, but finding solace in other people's sharing made all the difference. From hearing that, while no one story is the same, we have similar challenges. I really tried to go it alone, not accept help and be a supermom. And the truth is that it just makes you lonely to go about it that way. And I write this, because it is part of the childbirth process. It can happen to some women right at birth. It was part of my story.

Thomas said once that it is impossible to imagine what your children will look like when you don't have them or know them yet. Then, once they arrive, you cannot imagine them looking like anything else. What a wise old man he is turning out to be. I cannot imagine life without my boys, even though I know what life was like without them. It's like I've been renewed.

Random Wednesday....on Monday!

Random Wednesday... (or random Monday)

I am borrowing this after blogsurfing on the SBA ring tonight.

Q: How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
A: two-my own and my son's to make goodnight wishes.
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Rusty orange
Q: Name one thing that you use everyday?
A: lip smackers-I love them
Q: Whats the color of your bedroom walls?
A: An earthy red that we plan to change (sorry, Terri)
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A : I had a bunch of garage sale singles, but after Rubio's dollar fish taco night-not sure.
Q: Whats your favorite sport?
A: I love watching baseball. I am not really a sporty person in general as far as participation goes. I do like yoga though!
Q: I can't wait till..?
A: I get my first paycheck!!
Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: this past July
Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A: I made Cindy's awesome chicken with sauce, corn, peas and rice.
Q: Look to your left. Whats there?
A: A pile of chorale work and my date book.
Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Hmmm, I don't know. Probably a jacket at Michael's house.
Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: Well, I have a bunch of dead succulent plants. That doesn't say much for my green thumb.
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: My vocal cords! I have bronchitis and my voice is really hoarse.
Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
A: Had to be NYC. Where else would you ride a taxi?
Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: Yes, I begged for one and then I forget that I have it most of the time.
Q: Whats your favorite starbucks drink?
A: Thanks to my brother-in-law hooking me on Starbucks, I enjoy frappucinos, vanilla lattes and hot chai tea.

Last..
1. Person you saw: Thomas. He is in the next room.
2. Hugged: Thomas. Also Connor and Ian.
3. Shopped with? Cindy at Target. We refrained from buying more Cars cars.
4. IM: Again, Cindy. She is my go-to person today!
5. Song you listened to: The instrumental music to "Cars" as requested by Ian. He likes the tractor tipping music.

Today..
1. What are you doing now: blogging and getting ready to watch some Colbert or 70's show.
2. What are you doing tonight: I will be watching tv and drinking some hot tea.
3. What are you going to eat for lunch: I ate lunch-a salad with turkey, jicama, red pepper, provolone cheese. No dressing.

Tomorrow..
1. Is: Tuesday!
2. Got any plans: Try to bike in the morning, then school, then hang with the boys.
3. Goal: to do some form of exercise!
4. Do you have to work: Yes, school plus I have a chorale board report to write.
Currently:
1. Love someone: yes
2. Like someone: yes
3. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Just my dear sweet hubby!
4. Does someone like you?: Ian says he likes me quite often, so I do have one fan.
5. Missing someone?: I miss my NY /CA peeps and I miss J&T like crazy.

The Quotable Ian

Ian has some cute little phrases that always give me a chuckle.

Today included:

"Mommy, I DO love you." as I was kissing him goodbye this morning

"I'm just a medium boy. Not small, not big. Just medium."

"Mommy, are you racing?" on our way home from daycare (I was driving rather slowly in traffic!)

In rehearsing his name and phone number: "My name is Ian Ice Cream!"

For awhile, I was keeping a list of the little things he was saying. I need to go back and add to it and then put them in his scrapbook.

Connor's quotes are intelligible mostly only to him (we are still learning
Connor-speak).

We say "ready, set" and he says "GO!"

He will sing "Row, row, row, row" when I sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".

Occasionally says "Mama, mama" while clinging to my leg or crying for food and drink.

And then there is Connor's "talking", which has cadence and inflection, but sounds vaguely like he is learning language from a completely different country like Japan or maybe outer space. He certainly has a lot to say.

The best (and worst) is listening to them after they have been put to bed. They carry on conversations and have a grand time. (until I have to go in and be the meanie. Then Ian pretends to be asleep and Connor ends up wailing)

I give permission for Terri to give me a kickstart on doing the quote pages in their scrapbooks. I know she will be checking them during her visit in September.

And to my boys-keep 'em coming!