Share and share alike

Ian, Connor and I went to the bookstore this evening, after a delicious stop at Cold Stone Creamery. The bookstore has a Thomas the Train table with a pretty cool track setup. Normally when we go to the table, two of two things happen.....Ian refuses to share and/or throws a fit when we leave and one or both of them desperately need diaper changes (sorry, it's true, I am not sure what it is). Well, tonight was a turning point in our normal bookstore routine. Ian played trains quietly alone, until another younger boy came over with his parents to play. Being the neurotic manner minded parent, I asked Ian to share a train with the boy. Usually, this inspires anxiety, tears and several rounds of "No, E's train!". To my amazement, he turned and said, "Here, you have this train" and gave the boy a train. This would have been more exciting if the boy actually wanted to play trains, but he spent the entire time staring at Connor, who was staring back. Ah, babies. Another older boy comes over. The first boy leaves with his parents. The older boy asks Ian for some trains (which he quickly monopolized once he figured out the first boy was not going to participate). I bite my tongue and try to let Ian figure out his own social path. Miraculously, he offers the boy two trains. They continue to play together quite nicely, passing trains back and forth, playing with the stoplight and never one tear or argument. I actually read a magazine without interruption. The boy is whisked away by his parents, who have a crying baby in their entourage. I was actually sad to see him leave because it was so interesting to watch Ian interact with him. Along came another girl, much older than Ian, with no parent in sight. She walked up and began taking trains away from Ian. After all his generosity, it was sapped away in a second. He's grabbing trains, she's grabbing trains and here we go. After really, really trying to give Ian a chance to figure it out, the little girl ended up with all the trains. I ask the girl to give him back a few trains, which she does. The play and share time is strained although Ian does keep playing and doesn't get too intimidated. Inside, I am thankful for not repeating "Ian, share the trains....Ian, let him/her have a train..." After seeing so many ill-mannered children over the years, I tend to be a little crazy when he is out in public (and at home). I expect him to behave and I expect him to be well-mannered. I was really proud of him tonight, for his age and being a toddler, he impressed me. And, I didn't have to change one diaper!!