One Short Year

It is hard to believe that Connor was given his diagnosis on October 1, 2007. It is easy to remember the feeling-as if we were looking at a child we didn't know at all. In many of his pictures, he appeared so morose-looking, almost expressionless at times.

When I initially wrote about Connor, it was filled with such heartache. We had no idea what would come next or where we would be a year or ten years from now.

Now, a year later, we are so fortunate, so proud and so amazed by our son's progress. With our team of therapists (Julie, Kristin and Sarah-a huge shout-out to you all), we learned how to communicate with Connor. He responded to sign language, to pictures and eventually, he began to talk more and more. We learned about sensory disorders, oral-motor planning problems and we learned to lessen the frustration little by little.

It has been quite a journey.

Now, a year later, we are looking at Connor's public school evaluation for special education preschool next week. He should qualify based on his speech needs, but we are also looking at applying for long-term care from the state once he turns three. The excellent news is that he probably will NOT qualify for continuing state aid because he has made so much progress to date. We will still apply, but I would be surprised if he is accepted. And that is GOOD NEWS.

His diagnosis may change a bit as he gets older and we see more of who he is to become. The autism spectrum is enormous and while each child is brilliantly different, some will never say a word. Some will never look people in the eye. Some will never connect the way that Connor has this year. I have met some of those children, read several family stories and I only know that we came up to the precipice without going over the edge. For those children and parents, life is very different-one I can imagine only superficially. And to find those tiny flutters of connection-it is paramount that we continue to try and try and try. I believe these children are listening.

Here is Connor a few short months ago. Such a difference. Now, we hear "Mommy?" and "Daddy?" several times a day. He looks for Ian when Ian is not in the room. He cries when Ian is not with him. He is finding and voicing his needs. He works hard to use his voice-sometimes because we make him, sometimes because he is learning and persisting through those challenges on his own.

We will continue to work hard. He struggles with his sensory issues and we still work to help him understand more complex ideas. He doesn't sleep much and lately, his world centers around what's in the refrigerator.

But all of the progress is attributable to so many who made the difference. It is our therapists, our families and our friends who support us, who remind us to stay positive and who sustain us when life is hard. We are not unlike other young parents who work, struggle to pay bills and hope that things turn out okay in the end.

And it looks like things are turning out just fine.