Thankful Post 17

Believe me, I know luck. Friends have told me how awful their mother-in-laws are and are amazed at this truth: My mother-in-law is the best of the bunch. This is a person who relishes all the titles she holds in the family. A phone message from her begins with "Hi, this is Sheila, Mom, Mother-in-Law, Grandma" and we keep those happy beginnings recorded on our machine because she is just that cute.

Sheila welcomes everyone with hugs into her home. When I first met her and this Murphy clan, I had no idea that families were this huggy. In my awkwardness, she began to help me find my voice. And that has made all the difference in my life. When Thomas was off playing piano and putzing around while I waited for him to take me somewhere, she forced me to speak up and get him off his duff. He moved like lightning, too! She kicked me under the table for eating eggs out of sheer politeness when I truly despise eggs. She taught me that it's okay to actually say something assertive. Now I can't shut up.

I knew I was in after a surprise trip to Potsdam. (my then-boyfriend, her son won the Crane Concerto competition and she surprised him by driving the six hours and calling his room to tell him to meet her in the union. I was in on it and it was a lot of fun. ) We went to dinner at Maxwell's and my future mother-in-law told me, point blank, "If he does anything to hurt you, I will kick his ass. If he lets you get away, he's a $*%*#! " From then on, we have made a formidable team. And so far, Thomas has escaped any ass-kicking.

Sheila was always a terrific mother-in-law. She loves taking care of people, loves to help. Her generous spirit is echoed by her sisters, Marilyn and Peggy. The three of them are sisters and best friends, all living close by. I am so thankful that she is surrounded by them, because I know how much they lift her spirits and envelope her with love. The only difference that Sheila wasn't happy with was that her sisters were grandmothers and she wasn't.

So when we called to say that we were expecting a baby, Sheila honestly could not wait to call her sisters so that she could join the grandmother club. Amidst the "Finally!" comments from several family members, we began a new generation of Murphys with much happiness. She might have been the most excited.

Much grandmother discussion was had about how cute girls are and how fun it would be dress a little girl up. So when it turned out to be a boy, they were over the top happy and gently let me know that there was plenty of time for a girl. When I became pregnant for the second time, Sheila and my mother talked to me alone over Christmas. Now they were serious. Sheila announced that she and my mother decided that this one should be a girl. I gently informed her that that decision is ultimately up to her son and not me, but they made it clear. So, what do I have-another boy! And they, of course are thrilled to pieces over Connor. A few more discussions of girls came up and how it would be easier to raise three-Sheila raised four, which I am still not certain how mothers survive more than two. And the teasing goes on with much love and fun, even though the baby days are done. (find a new venue!)
Since my boys arrived, I have called Sheila numerous times for parenting advice. When Ian wouldn't sleep, she advised letting him cry. I remember crying myself. But it worked like a charm after three days. In fact, I called her this morning, at my wit's end with Connor doing the Houdini act. Twice now, he has disrobed and wet or messed his bed. In the interest of not doing laundry and baths each morning, I called to ask what else I could possibly dress this child in. She had an answer, with an even worse story to make me feel better. See?? This is exactly what she does-all of the little pieces of advice that we cannot think of on our own because we haven't got enough brain power. She has lived it and is happy to help.
When I thought my son had hearing loss, I called her too. I explained what I thought was happening and if I was being too neurotic. She calmly agreed that he should see the doctor and be sent to a specialist. I felt better, because that is what she would have done. After visiting the pediatrician and learning that autism was possible, I called her back. I was barely able to speak . She reassured us and told me she knew this was hard. She even suspected more than a hearing loss but didn't want to get us over our heads if that wasn't the case. I know she is with us every step of this journey and for whatever Connor needs.

She is also generous to my two boys. They are showered with toys, books and clothes at every visit. She looks forward to scouting out the outlet sales to get summer clothes and I get that call at the end of each season, "Okay, what do the boys need?" And don't stand in her way if she wants to buy them something. I have learned that with stern reprimand.


Here is our visit to the Grand Canyon last year, where we discovered she and high altitude are not a good combination.

Yes, I've told about all of my brother-in-laws and the truth is this really is one likable bunch. Sheila has raised some four terrific children and I know they all love her so much. (for those keeping track of the thankfulness, there is another......sister. Don't worry, it's in the works)

Sheila-I did NOT use the rolling pin picture. I could've, but I decided to spare the wrath.

And last weekend, her last son got married. I got this picture of her looking up at Chris after lighting the unity candle. One of my favorites.



On a thankfulness scale, this is off the charts. My mother-in-law is an amazing woman who has a fan club of wonderful people who love her dearly. She has a helpful heart and I am so thankful that she has taken me under her wing. I love you, Sheila, Mom, Mother-in-Law, Grandma!