Autism Awareness Day 18: Sensory Infants and PPD

Connor was always very different as a baby, before all of the signs really appear. Of course, he was different from Ian-which as parents, we didn't catch on that what works for one doesn't necessarily fit for the other.

Connor was in constant motion-not content to lie down in our arms and rest. He had to be upright and he had to be bounced or patted on the back. If you weren't patting him with great effort, he was unhappy. He was so little, so we were constantly afraid we would drop him or hurt him. He was happier when we were holding him and walking. Tiring for parents who are sleep-deprived and just want to sit in the comfy rocker with our feet up. Connor would have none of that.

Even now, Connor climbs on us, climbs off, climbs back on, climbs off. He never seems to feel completely content just sitting still.

Ian began sleeping through the night around 3 months old. We had to learn the hard way with him, but a few nights of tears and he was a great sleeper.(until this year when he realized the art of procrastination) We began to work with Connor on sleeping through the night a little later-he would wake up constantly and be up very early. Having him cry and self-soothe was a nightmare. It basically didn't work well for him, but around a year old, he started to sleep through.

Tom has often said that he had a really hard time bonding with Connor as an infant. He was a tougher kid to figure out and I found myself defending Connor more often because almost everyone (not just T) seemed to pick Ian (who was admittedly much easier) to play with over Connor. I honestly felt like Connor wasn't loved as much as Ian was (warped, I know!).

So, these seemed like small beans at the time. We both figured that Connor would settle in and once we knew him better, it would be easier. Honestly, it hasn't gotten easier until this year, now that Connor is able to communicate a bit better.

All that being said, I want to highlight two important issues. First of all, there are some clues in infancy that masquerade as colic, as difficult and different child stuff-but looking back, it makes all the sense in the world. I believe that Connor has had sensory problems from Day 1. It has always been here. I am grateful that the psychologists asked about about his infancy and explained how studies are being done on infants and autism and sensory disorders. She said that many of the problems we had were not uncommon for children with these neurobiological disorders.

Secondly, as a parent of two children-that transition is a whopper. And when you are sleep-deprived, in a post-pregnancy form (I was not one of the lucky gals to regain my figure after a few weeks-I am still looking for it! lol) and you are dealing with an infant who doesn't seem to fit into the family routine and scheme, not to mention the hormonal changes for women following pregnancy-it can set you up for postpartum depression.

I have shared my postpartum depression here and it took me several months to realize it and I have had depression issues for most of my life. Having some help, getting out with a friend and just talking out the frustrations can make an enormous difference. I have been much better for over a year now but I usually discover it creeping back almost surreptitiously. In December 2006, I hauled myself into the doctor, two crying children in tow and you didn't have to be a genius to see what was happening.

Be proactive to see when those parents need a boost, need a friend and need a break.

Offer to help with a difficult infant too. Imagine it 24/ 7!

And keep a lookout for more information on sensory disorder and autism in infants. I think it will be interesting to see what might be discovered.